When a person has died, you can still make amends for your actions. Although, you’ll have to find a different way to do so and in a way that makes a lasting impact on you and the people you love who are still here. Whether or not you’re intimately familiar with the Twelve Steps of AA, you’ve probably heard of Step Nine. Making Amends with Others has positioned itself in the public eye to a degree that many of the other eleven steps haven’t. That’s because it attempts to rectify the outward consequences of the disease.
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These support systems ensure that individuals have the guidance and encouragement needed to navigate this challenging but rewarding aspect of recovery. Fear of confronting past actions can lead to avoiding making amends altogether. The response to amends can vary widely; some may refuse to engage, leaving the individual feeling disheartened.
- And while it is important to be able to find these things internally and not solely externally, it is still a key component in recovery.
- That might not be so tricky if the person were still alive.
- While it can be tempting to want to make amends right away in the recovery journey, it is best to wait and build a foundation for progress first.
- Making amends offers profound and far-reaching benefits, along with the aa promises so often discussed.
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Take responsibility through admitting the hurt and pain that was caused by your addiction. At times, this requires being specific in the actions done. Living amends require a voluntary fundamental redirection. We are not tied to the old behaviors of our disease, or to our character defects. Although it sounds lofty, there are realistic, achievable ways to implement examples of making amends. You are now well-versed in taking this step of recovery!
Fulfill your promises.
Celebrate Recovery Step 9 showed you how to forgive, make amends, and accept the freely given gift of grace from God. Profess your faith in Christ as our one and only Savior, and receive eternal life. Having faith will give you the courage, strength, and motivation to make amends and offer forgiveness. Symbolic amends might be something you need to do if the person you harmed is no longer living or if establishing contact with them would cause more harm than good. The main difference between the two recovery programs is that Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered recovery program. However, if you are searching for answers related to AA’s Step 9, you’ve come to the right place because, as mentioned, the 12 steps are the same.
I have made many amends for my past while living as an alcoholic. Amends allow me to also right the wrongs I may continue to make. It is freedom from behaviors that do not live up to the new life in sobriety I am choosing to live. After years of being bossy and overbearing, my basic apologies meant little. They don’t always see my hands off approach as sincere kindness, but my amphetamine addiction treatment motives are pure.
- If you are not currently a Christian but want to learn more, our website can help!
- Since we do not likely know one another, I cannot tailor your amends for the people you need to reach out to.
- It’s also important to take great care when making amends to someone who is in active addiction because our primary responsibility is to safeguard our own health and recovery from substance abuse.
- Unlike mere apologies, which are just words, amends involve actions that align with one’s intentions and personal values, illustrating a commitment to change and personal growth.
Be sure to purchase the Celebrate Recovery Study Guide Book 3 for additional information on how to complete Celebrate Recovery step 9! Prayer can be as simple or complex as you wish it to be. These can enhance your prayer life and help you communicate with our Creator in new ways. It took me a while to “get it,” because it’s not a term I use daily unless speaking to my sister Grace. I am not proud of that, but it is the reality of how I used to behave. I also made countless promises to her that I did not keep.
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Living amends touches deep parts of our lives and souls if we allow them. A few months back, she was traveling for an extended period of time. Well, the time came to continue my living amends to her and redo her entire master suite, including her bathroom. She came home to what she described as “a completely different house”. My living amends to my mother is to be fully present in my life so I can be fully present in hers. It’s important to note that making amends is for the person we hurt.
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Nor do I play the peacemaker between him and our Mother. If he specifically asks for my opinion, which he doesn’t, I will give it. Remember, this is a Twelve Step process that can provide a platform for healing, but the person we are reaching out to may not be at living amends the same place in healing as we are. We are only in control of our part—making and living the amends. As with alcohol and other drugs, we are also powerless over other people. We cannot control how others respond, whether they will forgive or whether they will hold on to negative feelings or resentments.